After the 2:30am finish on Tuesday, I couldn't face another late one last night so wasn't going to play. But the footy was on so I was alone with the tele and my lappy and the 8:10pm $5 freezeout was just perfect timing and it seemed rude not to have look at least. To cut a long story short I did ok in this too, although not quite the final, but still made 32nd - good for another $30 to the make up. Go me I know, but any money coming in is better than no money!

Anyway, my point. I've been thinking about two fairly similar hands that have occured in the two tourneys. On the FT of the $25k, we're down to 9. Play has been painfully tight on the final. We've been at it for about 35 minutes, maybe more, and only lost one. Blind steals have come in position and no one has been out of line. Blinds are 10k/20k/ante and I'm on 270k. UTG+2 raises 5x to 100k on my big blind. I have AJ sooted and made what I thought was a standard pass.

Last night, blinds are 2.5k/5k/antes (just at this level so it was a big leap) and I've 45k. Again in the big blind holding JJ. We're down to 32 (see where we're going??) and UTG+2 raises to 25k. He's got me covered. Again, a big raise. Is JJ a fold here or good enough to shove? He's not folding for what we have left. The range to 5x from EP has to be pretty tight doesn't it?

Can't play tonight, need to get up at 5:45am so going to get an early night in hopefully.

Life's a little more peachy having made a final table last night. Yes, I ran good in the $25k $10 rebuy and made the final table. I arrived 5th out of 10 and departed in 9th but still, a final is a final. I even managed to get lucky on the way when my AQ shove was called by AK and I flopped a queen, then twice I had to call from the big blind when some shorties shoved and I won with Q8 and KT which all helped. Did get a bit unlucky at the end when I had to shove with AJ and was looked up by QQ. Flopped the ace and a jack but the river came with a queen, but no complaints really, best hand won. At least I wasn't ahead preflop etc etc. Was hoping for 7th to get me out of make up, but the $400ish at least brings me back to level for the most recent deposit made so I'm only technically one down now.

All good, great to final - at least I know I can! Hopefully I'm getting my shit together now and get some good runs on the go.

Just another example of how bad I run. UTG raises to 560 at 80/160. I'm next and reraise to 1500. Folds round and he calls. Flop QT8 (I have AK btw), he checks and I decide that with the overs and the gutshot, I can cbet here for the rest and stick in 2.5k and he insta calls with 77. Clearly I miss as you'd expect and I'm out. Now I don't mind losing, but how the hell can he check/snap call with an under pair? It's not like I played it weak! Zero respect, I'm not finding it anywhere.

Another miserable Sunday. Started out ok, found that I only had $7 in my Tilt account so decided to have a go at qualifying for the Double Deuce, which I made. Ran ok in that till the 100/200 level when UTG raises for 5x, the small blind called and I'm with QQ in the big blind. I'm thinking that 5x is more than likely a small pair, poss AK at best, but AK tends to shove more than 5x. I shove and am up against AT (Mr 5x) and A4 calls also. Ace on the flop said my goodbyes for me in that one.

Was kindly staked in the Low $109 SCOOP ME on Stars and was quiet for the first hour. At the end of the 2nd hour I doubled up with AQ against some others, and then AA helped. Ended the 2nd hour on 25k and in good shape. First hand after the break and this happens and I'm out. Not sure what to say about it really. Can't be expecting 53 to call, then flop the perfect flop surely? Must be nice to be up against me cos you just know you are going to hit.

I think I'll get out and play some live poker this week, need to get away from this bloody annoyance.

APAT Summary

Sat Nav took me to Merthyr Tydfil instead of Cardiff for some reason. Got sorted and arrived, checked in hotel and got to the casino in pretty perfect timing, no hanging around needed.

Got KK beaten by TT. To be fair, I'd have probably shoved with the tens too, neither of us we're in great shape but the flop could have been kinder.

Got very drunk, played cash, doubled up with AQ v KK, lost it all with TT v AA on a 6 high board, got more drunk, took money out and lost that too. Was welcomed back by the locals....with more money!

Lesson learned? Don't play cash whilst drunk. I'm bad enough sober, but drunk is a bad idea. Disapointed with myself for going to the cash desk to withdraw money from my account to go back to the table.

Had a good night, the cash game was fun even if it was too easy for me to lose money.

More fails tonight. In the blonde $35k, for once I was running ok and had built a nice stack of 14k when I was dealt JJ in a hand with some action. EP limps from a massive 40k stack for 300, then there's a raise to 1500, then it's me. I decided to shove and am called by AQ, and the Q comes. That put me down to 3.5k but I manage a double up before getting a hand and running KK into AA. On Tilt, I did the same, KK into AA then shoved with AQ and was called by A9, cue the 9. Surely it has to be my turn one day?

Trying to work out what I can rake on blonde and it's not looking good for over $100. There's only the 7:30pm $10 comp and the 8:30pm $10 rebuy that start at a reasonable time. There's a couple of $5 games, but I'm trying to avoid them. So that's only $2 per day in rake. I can't do the 10pm one's every day, I just can't handle the late nights all the time. Perhaps once or twice per week would be ok, but more than that and I'm done for the next day. Need to think about this one.

It's been a long time, but then there's been nothing to say to be honest. I'm cutting out moaning, hence my absense for the last month, times have been hard. I've had a reload on my staking scheme and I'm not a million miles away from asking for another. Not sure how deep I'm allowed to get, but I think I'd sack me in all honestly - the cashes simply haven't been coming and I'm feeling a bit bad about it, but I can't buy myself out even if I wanted to so I'll keep trying. I've even failed to make the rake requirement so far. Feb, I thought I was there but apparently wasn't. It must have been damn close though and March, I just haven't, but I did warn the StableOwner at the start of the month. Wouldn't be so bad if I was winning. I can manage to get deep, but fail when it matters. I'll work on it and something will come up hopefully before I run out of money again. I'm still enjoying playing though!

I did manage to win the blonde/celeb league recently for a few quid though. Out of 4 league games, I won 2 and came 2nd in one. Shame they were poorly attended with about 13 people in each, but that's good for me as I scooped a bit of money for each win (50 euros) and £350 for winning the league - the money is appreciated at the moment as that's pretty much all I have in my bankroll. The general standard of the blonde events is quite a bit higher than the average donkathon so it always feels good to do well in them.

APAT Cardiff this weekend and I'm really looking forward to it.