March finishes and I'm quite pleased to say I'm up overall on cash games. Not a lot, but I'm up, the grand total is standing at $227.41 (woo go me) over 8036 hands running at a PTBB of 2.16 and in all fairness, had I not played like an arse in some NL100 games and also avoided 6 max, the figures would have been quite excellent - the two games cost me a lot. I just can't grasp 6 max and seem to get out played most of the time which is why I moved to full ring during March and whilst it's not the most exciting (ok, it's damn boring) I'm showing a profit and it's nice to have a bankroll going up rather than down.

Aprils goal is to make 10k hands and to play entirely on blonde for ring games. I'm going to stick with NL50 full ring for now and hopefully can get to a level where I'd be playing within my bankroll by the end of the month. It's quite a goal, I'm not sure it's possible for me to get about $1000 profit playing FR NL50, but I'll give it a go. Now that I've played a bit more cash, I may even have a dabble at 6 max again and see if I have a better grasp of it.

Poker Trillion hates me, it's a fact and I have the proof.

So it's the day of the WSOP mini event thing and I'm on a table of donks - all of them. They're calling all in with bottom pair, no kicker, calling pot sized bluff bets with 2nd bottom pair on a JTKAT board, stuff like that. I've been up a few hundred and down a few hundred and was on 2.1k with blinds at 50/100 so plenty of play left. I'm utg and am dealt pocket queens - lovely, best hand so far so I pop it the pot to 225. One person calls, then the other reraises to 1000. Now I've seen him say that he's passed AK to an earlier all in, but he's also bluffed a lot and made some stupid calls so I push all in. He thinks for about five seconds and calls with AQ. Obv the ace comes on the river and my WSOP dream is over for a bit. It was only an 8 man sit and go and the winner is off to Vegas, I wait ages for a decent hand then some idiot gets lucky and I'm first out.

Playing the 20 Euro deepstack and I'm dealt pocket 5's so I raise from late position to 525 and get a caller. The flop comes 3TQ so I make a continuation bet of about 900 so just under the pot. Caller calls again. Lovely 5 on the turn and I bet the pot, he calls - ok, what's he got here? I'm thinking AQ, AT? so when the ace comes on the river and I shove for my last 2k, imagine my surprise when he shows KJ!

Two tourneys, two bad beats, thanks Trillion. Off all the nights to suck out on me, really, tonight was a real pisser.

It's crap like this that causes most of my losses. I'm so bad at not recognising that he actually has a better hand than me. The way it played out, I just assumed AK and he's missed - like my AK's do, but yet again I pay someone off and making back the money I lose is going to be another long grind.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2332835

Dear Diary,

I've been playing some tourneys again recently and have been getting oh so close to a nice cash, but not quite getting the cigar. The best was a couple of nights ago when I managed 6th in a deepstack tourney on Poker Trillion. At the same time, I managed to get knocked out of two other comps when I was in a decent position, the most annoying being 4th in chips in a Laddies $25 event in 14th. The other guy managed to hit 4 spades to make a flush and beat my trip 8's. The good side of course is that I'm playing ok and when I go out, it's generally to a bad beat or just unluckyness - the 6th in the Trillion comp was pushing 7's into Jacks - it's stuff like that, but actually making the FT and cashing for over 200 Euros was nice for me.

Cash games are up and down. I'm back on NL50 for now and I was down tonight but thankfully I have a crazy Dutchman at my table and he's turned my losses into a small profit. He's only played 55 hands and is running at VPIP of 83 & PFR of 55, he's currently down $197 in those 55 hands!! In contrast to that, I have a guy on another table who is running at VPIP of 8, PFR 1 and he's also down but only by $10.

I really need to call it a night, but I don't want to leave Crazy Dutchman to the other people, I'm sure there's more to come for me if I get a hand. LOL as I write, someone with a PFR of 3 has just raised, he's put them all in. Clearly they have aces and he has the mighty KQo. How can I leave now?

The last 3 times I've had KK all in preflop, it's been against AA and I've lost them all. 3 buy in's down the drain.

And whilst writing, I've lost another buy in with AA v 22. Obv he calls OOP and hits trips, the same guy that had the last AA v my KK.

Bankroll has taken a beating tonight. Life tilt.

On the plus side, I won a 300 euro entry to a mini WSOP event satellite.

Morning Update:

Things obviously seem a bit better in the mornings. Sure I am disappointed about losing a couple of full buy ins and a bit extra, but that's the way it goes. I'm happy to be up and there has to be down swings which is why it's not great to be playing outside the bankroll. I think for the rest of the month I may have to drop to NL50 for a bit. I'm not going to get Gold on Stars so there's no point in risking it all at the moment. Hopefully back to NL100 at the start of April.

The plus side last night was a real plus. Winning the blonde exclusive Poker Trillion game was a bonus. Despite there only being 11 in the game, they're all good players and the winner, aka me, gets a seat in a mini Vegas satellite worth about 300 Euros. I'd love a trip to Vegas to play in a WSOP event and this sounds perfect. It's entry to a $1500 event, an entry for a satellite for the WSOP ME ($1060) and $2000 worth of expenses. I'd love to win a ME event seat, but this would also be a dream and probably better for me. One time please Poker Trillion!

Went to the pub on Saturday for the wetting of a babies head. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed at the end of the night, so after a quick kebab, it seemed only right to fire up NL50 on blonde at 1:30am and show them what a lag monster I was. I ended up with a small profit, but it wasn't always going so good. Earlier I had decided to raise PF with K6, then bet out to the turn and check raise the river with nothing but was called by something I was too drunk to remember. No chips came my way so I guess I lost. Thankfully the missus came down to see what all the noise was about and tusked at me playing poker. I waited till the blinds came to me and closed down.

Back to normality. It's a slow process, but I'm moving in the right direction. I only had a small NL100 session tonight and I started out ok, but then I felt I wasn't playing right so I actually had the discipline to call it a night. Firstly, I was in a $10 mtt on Party and trying to play more aggressive than normal, but the problem was that everyone is happy to get it in with anything. Anyway, needless to say I didn't last too long and that was that. Then I pretty much played badly in my Step 3 on Stars which is damn annoying. I ended up pushing with 7's but was instacalled by AJ who not only flopped a Jack, but a flush draw and basically kicked my arse. I was a bit surprised by him only having AJ and calling for most of his stack, but then I let myself get into the position where I'm pushing with a small pair which is even more disappointing, especially as it was my fault with no bad beats to moan about.

Anyway back to the cash. It was all going well until these tourney exits, then I made a mistake with a couple of small hands, then stupidly called with AK on a King high flushing and paired board, but it was an obvious flush that took the pot and I decided that I'd call it a night with a small ($45) profit for the night.

Since the start of the month, I'm up $320 playing NL100. I've played just over 3600 hands and am running at 4.42 PTBB/100 - not sure if that's good for full ring games, but I'm quite pleased as I'm enjoying the increase in bankroll for a chance. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty boring playing nitty, but when I'm involved in hands, it's good fun and most important, my account is going up. I'm going to stay at this level until I reach proper bankroll requirements for NL200. It's obviously going to take ages to get there but I'm happy at NL100 for now. Not so sure I'm going to make gold this month though.

Me grinding at NL100 is a painful process. I seem to get going then I get knocked back again. Today, started off ok, made $40, then lost it this afternoon. This evening, I won a pot and was up $35, then I stupidly called someone all in preflop for $35 with QQ and then lost a couple of other small pots and all of a sudden I'm on a losing day. I guess that's why you need to be properly rolled for the game you are going to play!

On the plus side, I'm less than 300 points away from making Silver on Stars this month. I really wanted to get Gold but unless I stop losing big pots for all my profits, it's going to be hard getting there.

NL100 is definitely where I want to play though, I'm thinking about more things and not playing as loose because it's 'only 10p to call', it's 50p minimum now and the pots are of a size where it really does matter so I think I'll stay here and just hope not to go busto. It does get my heart pumping when I'm involved in pots here too which is pretty exciting. I don't think I'll make the next level in the reward scheme on Stars playing lower levels, so I guess I'll have to stay here.

The other plus side of course is that I'm actually up overall for the month so far, not by a lot, but I'm showing a profit of just under $80 (woo go me!) Could be worse, I've had plenty of months playing tourneys that have been negative so any plus is good.

I've decided that I'm going to go for either Silver or Gold on Stars this month and the only way I can do it is by playing NL100 for a bit. I know I'm probably better off getting the rakeback elsewhere but tbh, the rakeback at my level isn't that great. I'm over half way to silver and have paid about $40 in rake I think, so 30% of that? Hardly worth worrying about. I'm playing like such a nit that I'd prefer to be on Stars at the moment and I think I can make more by being here than the rakeback I'm likely to earn.

I'm really breaking all bank roll rules - I had $240 in my account and decided that I'd buy in for $60 each time and see how we get on. I did get off to an ok start, make a fair bit but Saturday I had a long session but unfortunately managed to also lose a lot (for me) and ended the day $150 down. Sunday I started off with just $127 in the account so could only two table, but I decided to sort my game out and came away with just under $170 profit yesterday so I'm back up over where I started and am pretty pleased with it. The main goal is to make the loyalty scheme next level, so if I play tight and make less than I could do, then it's good providing I make it. I'm hoping to build up some more fpp's and maybe finally spend them.

NL100 is making me think more. There's still plenty of donks about so I will get paid off eventually. Last night, I managed to win a $90 pot with a set of 6's when matey held JTo on a ten high flop. Not sure why he was prepared to get it all in, but it happens all the time so I'm grateful, I could just do with a few more decent hands.

It's funny how I seem to go ages with running bad, then have a result like the tourney win that makes it all worth while. After the win, I even had a few good cash sessions playing NL50. It all seems to have settled down now though. It's been a bad few days and I think I'm probably down about $300 give or take a few bucks. Tried the Stars NL50 tonight and the beats I've taken are unreal. It seems ok to call a pot sized bet on a king high flop with pocket 9's. Obviously you are hitting trips sooner or later, but in the mean time, I'll hit two pair with my AK to make sure I pay you off. I've been check raised all in by someone with nothing who's hit runner runner to double him up too, nothing has gone right. I've just lost out in my omaha tourney 4 short of the money to someone that thought KK58 was a good hand against my ATA7 double suited. Actually it was good when the two fives appeared on the board and the 3rd diamond never appeared for my flush. It's very painful and I wish I'd gone out and only lost £20 at the Western now.

I've withdrawn most of the money I won from Stars now, I'm too worried about losing it after recent days. I know I shouldn't be, but it's a nice amount for me and I need a new oven and hob so I'll get them, and maybe treat myself to something nice too, but nothing that extravagant, there's other things that need buying.

Edit: I decided to do what all the top names (LOL) do when suffering from a bad night and withdraw 2/3rds of my roll and move up a limit to NL100 for a bit, but I tried full ring for a change. I decided to play tight and thankfully it paid off a bit. I'm not actually sure I'd have got more value out of him given that he had nothing so perhaps taking the defensive approach was good in this hand, not sure I played it that well overall.

I'm sort of playing out of my BR on blonde poker atm. I thought I'd be disciplined and play NL20, but tbh, it's doing my head in and I can't cope with it. I started out ok and built up to $160ish from an initial $100, then I lost it....all pretty much so I redeposited $100 and made a few $$. Decided today that NL50 is better, the money means something at least (How can you not call for 10p?) I had a run on Stars too earlier when I was at work. Clearly I should have been working, but I thought playing NL50 on Stars would be good for morale. Well it was till I lost $60 with AK playing like a dick. Obv matey had AA and I lost it all. After a coffee, I reloaded and thankfully managed to get most of my losses back, I think I was around $10 down for the day on Stars, which I'll take. I'll probably have a go tomorrow morning for a bit. Thankfully I have some work I can do at the computer whilst playing so it's not all bad.

On blonde, I started of really bad tonight and I was about $50 down from 2 hours grinding. It's annoying because you see crazies getting it in with rubbish and doubling up, but patience paid off and eventually my night got better.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2206873

Obviously I'm going to continue to play out of my bankroll and hit the NL50 again.

I'm not sure where to concentrate on. On one hand, I get 30% 'loyalty' on blonde, but Stars is just a nice site. Obviously everyone likes free money in the form of rakeback, but at my levels, it's not a lot. Ages ago, I played tonnes of limit in a month and only got about $50 in rakeback, I was a bit disappointed in the lowliness of it all, but the bottom line is that I don't actually rake much. Tonight, according to PT, I raked $4.1, so I might get $1 back. Is the site that's best to play on worth more than the rake? Not sure. I guess I'll continue on blonde to see if I can actually build a proper roll and to help support the site, and I'll continue on Stars because it's the best site out there.